" "

Schadenfreude is a good word. English doesn't have a word meaning "taking pleasure in someone else's misfortune", but German does. It's funny how such a universal feeling lacks a word in the world's wordiest language.

I need a word, one that means "fantastic, but not good enough". It's nine weeks till the marathon and today the plan had me running (with walk breaks) 23 miles, slowly. I made it to 20, plus another two-plus miles of walking home. I started at 5:45 a.m. and it was already sticky; after 45 minutes, the electronic sign on Gwacheon City's bridge said it was 78 degrees, with 86 percent humidity. And then the sun came up. And out. By the time I got home at 11:30, the computer said the temp was 84, though the humidity was down to a Phoenix-like 68. Once again, with all the right gear (Gatorade, water, energy gels, Cool-Max clothes, microfiber sweat cloth), I just ran out of gas. Anyway...

I know I should be proud, and I am; I'm almost 57 and, for that matter, overweight. I had never done over ten miles until a couple of months ago and I don't know too many people of any age who could go for 20. But I don't see how in the world (even on this side of the world) 20 miles at almost 14 minutes per is going to translate into 26 (and 385 yards!) at the required 11 per. And completing this marathon has been my major personal goal for four months already... or 40 years, depending on how you look at it.

Plus, I'm hobbling around now like Larry King's great-grampa with a bear trap on his foot.

Anybody know the right word? Right now, all I can say is "               ".