"Infinitely yours"

I'm really frustrated right now, as I've been trying for ten minutes to embed a video from Youtube, which Blogger apparently doesn't let us do anymore.

But please go here:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J-KGNeNjjfM&feature=fvst

(Then come back here. I get lonely.)

This video, featuring Korean superstars Super Junior and Girls Generation, encapsulates "Infinitely yours" Seoul in four quick minutes, complete with captions in hangeul text, its Romanization, and English translation: "Sometimes inside my tiring routine my body is won over by exhaustion", indeed.

It's got K-pop (better than most), pretty young people (the boys only slightly prettier than the girls), scenery including the Han River and Seoul Tower, smog (better than usual), imperfect English grammar (better than standard), cutesy cheerfulness, and scary mascots with giant heads.

It *is* life in Seoul.

Join in: "S.E.O.U.L. Scream out together, happiness that lets us to laugh anywhere."

Pussyfooting

This is pretty much my personal life right now: 60 percent running, 30 percent cat, 10 percent junk on the floor.

Sign, sign, everywhere a sign

...I need some English conversation, stat!

Please don't pour flavord syrup on my menu.

"We'll do our best" ...but don't get your expectations too high.

COFFEE. No, not that. 'Snot funny.

You must be careful with your Korean pronunciation; for example, you must say “Keo-pi juseyo”, not “Ko-pi juseyo”; the first means “Please give me coffee”, the second “Please give me snot.” I learned this the hard way, when I told some elementary-school-level kids I liked to drink ko-pi.

There's a sucker born every minute

...adjusting to Korea in a nutshell (to mix food metaphors, as you'll see):

I was in my schoolroom today, proofreading, when Heeduk, who can be very thoughtful, came in and handed me a frozen treat: Papico, it's called. He left, I opened one end of the wrapper, thought "mmm, chocolate" and popped it in my mouth. "Mmm, no taste whatsoever," I thought.

Then I realized that I was sucking on plastic; a Papico is... well, I'm not trying to gross you out, but this is the most accurate description I can think of... basically a condomesque plastic tube filled with a Wendy's Frosty. You let you hand heat melt the Frosty and suck the chocolatesque goodness out the end, which I did.

...but first I had to have the school secretary show me how to open it. I felt like I was about four years old.

Toto, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore...

How I decided to come to Korea

Last year, I went to see a vocational counselor from Bahston. He said, "Mr. Cahnman, the job prospects in Flahida are dahk this yeah. Cleahly you need a majah careeah move."

...so here I am.

Yum!

Rush out now in a feeding frenzy

This picture is in a restaurant's window. Does this make you want to eat there?

Everyone's got toothpaste down their demons

...is not a line from "Jumper" by Third Eye Blind. It's "Everyone's got to face down their demons," and if you heard it as "toothpaste", you're either dumb, crazy, deaf, or me.

Actually, that has nothing to do with the topic of this post, but I've been waiting to work it in as a blog title.

The championship game of the World Baseball Classic was a classic, with Korea coming from two runs down with a run in the eighth and another with two outs in the ninth to tie the game. Sadly, Japan got two in the tenth to win.

The sports-fan segment of the Korean population is terribly let down, of course. The two countries, who have the strongest baseball teams in the hemisphere, are fierce rivals on the field (and in the East Sea [Sea of Japan], where they are disputing ownership of a few tiny worthless islands that the Koreans call Dokdo; "Dokdo is Korean!", the posters say.) The Japanese, as a rule, look down on Koreans, and Koreans must feel about Japan as Poles would about Germany if the German government had never really apologized for what they did in both World Wars.

Think of Korean baseball fans as Yankee fans when the Bosox came from 3-0 down in the playoffs, or Bosox fans when the Yankees made up a 15 1/2 game deficit and won the pennant. There is no joy in Koreatown.

...but it's only ten days till the Korean League season starts! Go, Samsung Lions!

Born to Run

I got tagged for a new game/questionnaire/self-analysis quiz on Facebook. I'm cutting and pasting my answers here, for those of you who, like me, have no sense of boundaries.

(Hey, try it... it's fun... just delete my answers and comments and put in yours. (If you do it, send me your results, huh? Fair's fair.)

And now, the quiz. verbatim:

RULES:
1. Put your iTunes, Windows Media Player, etc. on shuffle [You can also use your Pandora channels on shuffle for this].
2. For each question, press the next button to get your answer.
3. YOU MUST WRITE THAT SONG NAME DOWN NO MATTER HOW SILLY IT SOUNDS.
4. Tag AT LEAST 10 friends (including me so I can see your results).
5. Everyone tagged has to do the same thing.
6. Have Fun!

IF SOMEONE SAYS 'ARE YOU OKAY' YOU SAY [I AM]?
Turn! Turn! Turn! (The Byrds)
(However I am, it isn't how I was an hour ago.)

HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE YOURSELF?
My Sweet Lord (George Harrison)
(Well, I *do* have a bit of an ego.)

WHAT DO YOU LIKE IN A GUY/GIRL?
Push (Matchbox Twenty)
(Physically? Attitudinally? Perhaps it performed the common Korean error of mistaking "P" for "B"?)

HOW DO YOU FEEL TODAY?
Ferry Cross the Mersey (Gerry and the Pacemakers)
(The title doesn't fit, but play the song and feel the music. Perfect.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE'S PURPOSE?
How to Save a Life (The Fray)
(I haven't eaten an animal since 1991.)

WHAT'S YOUR MOTTO?
"Alison" (Elvis Costello)
(Oh, this is pathetic, and frightening. I had an English girlfriend named Alison, and this would have been true from 1975 to about 1981.)

WHAT DO YOUR FRIENDS THINK OF YOU?
So What (Pink)
(Oh, thank you *so much*, guys!)

WHAT DO YOUR PARENTS THINK OF YOU?
Bleeding Love (Leona Lewis)
(Well, they've been gone for ten years, but... hmm.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT VERY OFTEN?
Tusk (Fleetwood Mac)
(Republicans? What Lindsay Buckingham was referring to when he used this euphemism? Uhh...)

WHAT IS 2 + 2?
Blackbird (The Beatles)
(How very Dada.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR BEST FRIEND?
Time of Your Life (Green Day)
(Yes.)

WHAT IS YOUR LIFE STORY?
I Will Remember You (Sarah McLachlan)
(I do have a tendency to live in the past.)

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE WHEN YOU GROW UP?
I Will (The Beatles)
(Exactly. I will, not I mean to.)

WHAT DO YOU THINK WHEN YOU SEE THE PERSON YOU LIKE?
Lady Marmalade (Christina Aguilera, Lil' Kim, Mya, Pink)
(What?! What is this doing on my iPod?)

WHAT WILL YOU DANCE TO AT YOUR WEDDING?
I Guess That's Why They Call it the Blues (Elton John)
(Oh, this is so far beyond funny. And sad.)

WHAT WILL THEY PLAY AT YOUR FUNERAL?
Here Comes the Sun (The Beatles)
(Are we talking reincarnation here, or na na na na hey hey goodbye? And will people bring balloons?)

WHAT IS YOUR HOBBY/INTEREST?
I Don't Want to Go Home (Southside Johnny and the Asbury Jukes)
(Where is that, exactly?)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST FEAR?
Alison (Elvis Costello)
(Oh. Shut. Up.)

WHAT IS YOUR BIGGEST SECRET?
I'm Like a Bird (Nelly Furtado)
(Cool.)

WHAT DO YOU WANT RIGHT NOW?
99 Luftballons (Nena)
(Was ist das? Is that an answer to my question about my funeral?)

WHAT DO YOU THINK OF YOUR FRIENDS?
Put Your Records On (Corinne Bailey Rae)
(Ooookay...)

WHAT WILL YOU POST THIS AS?
Born to Run (Bruce Springsteen)
(Yeah, okay, I'm shutting down and putting on my New Balances. Bye!)

It took four months

...but the Ministry of Education finally recognized my contributions.Modesty forbids my telling you what a great teacher I am. But if you want to take it from the Korean government...

Back from the future

As I write this, it's 2009 in Korea, 2008 in the States, and I just want to say I'm glad that in 2009 we stopped global warming , got Detroit back on its feet, straightened out the economy, and kicked the Yankees out of the American League.

Can't wait till you join me in this Utopian New Year!

Oh, I forgot. It was great when you went vegetarian this year. That was so cool.

This post is rated XX

In the last 90 years, only one young son of a President has lived in the White House: JFK, Jr. Since then, we've had ten First Daughters in a row: Lynda Bird and Luci Baines Johnson, Tricia and Julie Nixon, Amy Carter, Chelsea Clinton, Barbara and Jenna Bush, and Sasha and Malia Obama.

I guess adopting Tug and Tiki eliminates me from the 2012 race, then...

Song Watermelon

In two weeks on Facebook, I've accumulated 78 "friends", most of whom are ex-students of mine who asked me to add them. (A select few of them are actually friends, including former students, to whom I gave the blog address.) (Hi, guys!)

Somebody local sent a friend request: a girl named "Song Watermelon". It may be her real family name, but I don't think "Watermelon" is common here. She sent a message: "i dont care that meet old people."

Thanks, Melon.

This has nothing to do with Korea...

...but it is the best photo in history. And, no, it wasn't Photoshopped.

No soup for me!

As I've said before, many Korean letters have sounds in between different English sounds, such as B and P, D and T, L and R, and so on. Their character that looks like a doodle of Space Mountain and is supposed to sound like "S" actually, in their pronunciation, sounds more like "Sh", which makes it fun when the littluns have to read "Sit down" in their books. (There are three or four channels on cable that carry nothing but English lessons, and I actually saw that very point discussed on one program-- the Korean people on the show, when it was explained to them, thought it was hilarious.) I've seen the same Korean place name in English with a B on one sign and a P on another across the street.

What I didn't expect, though, was that somehow that can lead to mixing up letters even when they're writing a word that's already in English. Who knew? For example, I've seen a street sign directing people to the "Seoseung Brdg." and another for "Samduk Hosbital".

The champ, though, is a menu item in a little restaurant near the US Army's Camp Walker:

CRAP CREAM SOUP.

This is going a little too far...

...don't you think? I mean, I know Koreans will kill and eat anything, but... gee.

But my friends call me Seuteeb

I just noticed that my new bankbook has my name in English and Korean characters. I can't type the Korean characters on my keyboard, but it's pronounced:

Keunmaen Seuteebeun Jeun.

Korean is written in blocks of letters, each block representing a syllable. If we did that in English, "Batman" (for example) would be written with b,a, and t squished together in an invisible square, followed by m, a, and n likewise. And each letter can be squooshed around to fit into the block, so "a", for example, might be three times as high as wide in one syllable and the reverse in the other.

Everybody here crazy.

You know...

...there sure are a lot of brunettes here.