I've always been a worrier, someone whose monkey-mind won't stop flinging... ah, wait. ...someone whose wheels are always spinning. I remember being awake half the night waiting for Santa (I was 17) and not sleeping a moment the night before my first wedding. I figure by the fourth or fifth one I'll be cool with it.
Anyway, nothing ever goes as planned at the hash. Trail marks get parked on; I fall behind (frequently); I have trouble getting over a barrier and have to find a way around; somebody's late; I fall on my head. You know, the usual. This week is my 69th run, which is a big landmark, but the bar I'd told everyone we'd end at is closed. But between the welcoming nature of the hashers, a certain willingness to take a small nip of the golden lager, and the general devil-may-care (but I don't) atmosphere... it's all okay.
Between that and the [oh my God is he going on again about how much Buddhist philosophy has helped him shoot me now] I really have gotten better at not letting the inevitable annoyances get to me so much. Kyung's daughter moved out and Kyung left to live with friends in the States? I'm cool. The Korean class I've been waiting months to take filled up on the first registration day while I was at work? No sweat. I keep losing gloves and earmuffs? No big.
But the smallest challenges are turning into the biggest ones. I get really peeved at school when teachers leave their lights on when nobody's in the room or don't refill the bottles I brought so we could take fewer trips to refill the coffee maker, or kids come into my classroom at lunch and leave the door open, and goldangit to heck, you are not "laying" down for a nap and the past test of "sink" is not "SUNK"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Me? Nah, I'm chill.
Now get off my lawn.